Broken Home

When you set your mind to something and not let anything or any obstacle deter you from your goals you can succeed. I was determined despite the challenges, etc. to give my baby a home by the time she was five and with God’s grace and mercy it was so.

It is the fall of 2004 and building of our new home is finally complete. We moved from one end of GA to the other. Throughout this time, I have worked quite a few jobs and have meet some great people along the way. In midst of all this, a new relationship has blossomed in my life and we all are moving into our new home. My Sunshine is so excited, so am I, and all is great in the world. It is the happy moments and moments of success that we must reflect upon despite the challenges and even in the midst of. Which is one of many lessons I have learned along the way.

We have found a great day care with an after school program, to include joining the YMCA and enrolling my Sunshine to play soccer. She will be starting kindergarten soon and enjoying the new friends she is making. In the midst of all of this I have gotten engaged. So of course I am thinking I am finally getting something right.

The community we are in is great everything is within driving distance and like I previously stated we had found a great day care. Now at this daycare my daughter has attached to this lady whom she has decided to call Auntie. Her family is amazing and they love my daughter as if she was there on. This family would soon become my family as well her new Auntie turn out to be one of my best friends and the best support system a girl could ever ask for and still is til this day.

Over the next few years we are pressing forward however my relationship was struggling. I am pretty much living what I think is pretty good life. My family is good, jobs are going well, I have meet some more great people and hanging out having a great time. But things are changing and something is not quite right within my relationship. Geez, I am telling you there is something about a woman’s instinct and sometimes we have to follow up and not brush those instincts aside.

Now, I am in a relationship with a person that I have known for years, whom loves me, treats my daughter as if she were his own. As usual things start off great however as time goes on something changes and there is a shift within the relationship. The crazy part is I had no idea what that shift was but it was definitely something. When I began to notice these changes and of course like any woman would I became a detective…lol and to my surprise I am slapped in the face with being cheated on. Being who I am, I gathered all my proof and sat on the steps waiting for this joker to come home one night. All kinds of thoughts crossed my mind…how dare you, who is she, is that where you just came from, etc.. you know the usual questions and of course some F bombs along the way. I hear the garage door open, and my temperature started to rise. Once he came in the door and walked up those steps, I let him have it, of course he denied and then threw the emails so then came the excuses. At this point I do not want to hear them as they do not matter. My next course of action was to leave and you know it, I left as I wanted him to feel how he has made me feel over and over again. I must note it was the middle of the night and I had no where to go but I wanted him to think I did.

After being gone for hours and talking to his mom and my mom I returned home to face the heartbreak and to decide what was next. You see this was not some random man I was dating this was my friend and fiancee. Over the next few months we cancelled the wedding to work on our issues and relationship. This wedding we canceled was a destination wedding that was paid for so we decided to go on the trip as planned with our friends as we figured it was much needed and no one was about to waste any money. Although, we all had a blast and kept working on our relationship it was over.

He moved out and I was back on my hustle to take care of my daughter and I. This decision wasn’t as easy as it sounds because at this point my daughter was use to having a father figure around. Aside from family he was the only man she really knew because her biological dad was not an active participant in her life. So not only was this breakup hard for me it was devastating to her and I knew at that point I would never have another man around my child. The next man she meets will be my husband I mean we know for sure that we are about to walking down the aisle husband…lol

Our home started out being everything I thought it should be but it ended up broken. Growing up in a single parent home is hard and growing up in a broken home is just as hard and to some harder. Because you know the feeling of having that absent parent present verse the feeling of never knowing and having these dreams of what it would be like vs your current reality.

WORDS OF INSPIRATION:

Sometimes life does not go as planned and we encounter many trails (of course you would think I would know this by now but I am always an optimist) that leave us feeling broken. This brokenness can sometimes take us to places emotionally that we did not know existed. However my beauties, broken pieces can be put back together again and sometimes create an even more beautiful masterpiece than before.

For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us. -Romans 8:18