Challenges Of Being A Single Mom and Dating
Being a single mom and dating can be quite challenging. I mean there are rules and protocols to follow. Again, I must say what works for one may not work for the other. However, when I was dating as a single mother I had one strict rule. That was you will not meet my daughter and if you had kids I did not want to meet them.
Not that I did not love kids but this was a rule I lived by because I had was in a relationship that did not work and it was not just me whom was left heart broken my daughter was as well and her feelings where not feelings I was going to have messed with. Also, who knew if the relationship was going to work or not and/or how long it was going to last so there was no need for any introductions or pretending to be a family.
You see the one thing that we have to be mindful of as parents (either single mom or single dad) is that kids get emotionally attached easily. And there feelings are not one to be toyed with. Not that you deserve to be toyed with however you are a big girl/guy so you know what you are getting yourself into.
So when it comes to dating you have to set some ground rules and set those ground rules based upon your needs and wants. Aside from the ground rules you there where other obstacles when dating. You have to find a baby sitter and you have to know in advance if you were going to go out on a date, etc.. So that can some times take the spontaneity out of dating because you can not get that random phone call where he says let’s go out of town for the weekend, or do you want to go to dinner tonight, etc. Because when those calls come in you have to be like wait…I have to find a sitter, or its a school night, my kid as practice, a game, etc..tonight (you catch my drift).
What I also found challenging was dating a man with our without kids. Now dating a man without kids they do not always understand that your time is limited. However, dating a man with kids although he may understand I needed to know how many kids did you have and whether or not you had any baby mama drama. Because I did not come with drama nor was I going to tolerate any.
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Now don’t get me wrong dating can still be fun it just takes some preparation and you have to lay down some ground rules. Most importantly, you must know that it is ok to date and that you deserve to be courted. Some people say that chivalry is dead, I disagree because a grown man knows how to treat a grown woman. They must know that you are not desperate and you are not looking for a father for your child. You are looking to be treated like the queen you are and to see where the relationship goes.
